The lull of the evening

Night draws in, and I’m sitting silently in the Cititrans on my way to Jakarta, the beloved iPod is steadily delivering tunes from Copeland’s Eat, Sleep, Repeat. Hungry and alone in the darkness, the eerie piano from track 5 Love Affair starts straight to my ears.


Fell past a cheekbone hill to a piece of her floor,
The hope of the world in an awkward spill.
Oh, she’d lie on her bed and stare into harsh white light,
And think that her heart’s not right.


Getting darker as seconds pass by, I stare into the black outside.
Cars swish by with their headlights glaring. Flash and flash and flash.
The introspective loneliness of a night ride starts creeping up my spine, again.

Times like these, I could embrace those buried feelings, retracing what I have done and which path am I currently on as the result.

No company whatsoever, but maybe it’s alright…


‘Cause love took her hand like a thief,
took her heart like a robber
and the feelings that scare her become her relief.


I try to find full moon, but the whole sky is a black bowl emptied of its stars cereal.
I try to catch glimpses of raindrops, but the road is as dry as a feeling could be.


Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run
Just let me love who I want.


I end up staring plainly back into the unreal, relating to what the song could become, to my imagination.

And so I just repeat these singing words to myself


In a flash a heart is slain, you have to ask in all this pain
Was your heart too soft?
Was your love in vain?

Was your kiss too weak?
Were your eyes too tight?
And much too young to be in love,
Much too young to be in love?


“Life’s still long… plenty of things to catch ahead, but none of the silly immature love”
Who said it? No, it’s just my head consciously rephrasing the words to me.

It’s just the everyone’s Jakarta-Bandung. 200 km of nothing new to me, but now I understand how long lonely travels could redefine personality.


Just let me run where I want to run.
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run.
Just let me love who I want.
Just let me run where I want to run.
Just let me love who I want.

There are no rules for this love.
Just keep your head and don’t give up.
Like all the fools who play it smart.
Lose your head just for your heart
Just for your heart…


And so in the midst of darkness I drift into the land of dreams where reality could have been better.

About Kevin Aditya

Thank you for reading.

06. September 2009 by Kevin Aditya
Categories: Personal | 13 comments

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